Day 11

Man does the time fly or what! Just yesterday I was committing to my bottom line of "No Random Eating inbetween 3 moderate meals per day, no matter what!"

And I'm still moving forward. My higher Power is helping me. I still feel pudgy and I'm suffering a bit because I have only sloppy loose winter pants that look awful with cool summer tops. I had hoped in my 'control' days' to be thin by now or at least to a point where my stomach didn't look like I was 6 months pregnant! Of course I'm exaggerating based on what my 'vision in the mirror' reveals mixed with shame and a distant guilt from never being able to 'control' myself and be a successful 'normal' eater.

And I mention all that so I can continue to put it behind me moment by moment. All these bad negative thoughts. But at times it's hard when you are hot and feel blubbery on top of being hot. I felt a lot less gross when I was thinner and hot! ha... You gotta laugh at me. At any rate, the truth of this entire matter is that I have a dis-ease and I'm not ashamed of it. It is what it is and man has it really brought me to my knees over and over... seared my pride and continued to humble me. And as I go along continuing my abstinence I expect to learn more and more from this intense teacher I seem to have been born with. Bad Brain chemistry 101. "Yes... right down the hall there... go on in and sign up for a life time of confusion. When you surrender you will move on into Acceptance and Action 101 upstairs in room 2." "You can backslide at any moment, so make sure to say this prayer everyday... "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Today on the scale I remained the same. 3 lbs down. I did my sauna and held to my bottom line, and went about my daily business amazed at how grounded I continue to feel even though I did not sleep enough last night. Normally when I don't sleep enough I crave to keep eating. Today I didn't crave to keep eating.

Thanks God for this day and a good nights sleep tonight. Thanks for good love and friends. Thank you for my life.

My Tools:
http://www.dietingrecovery.com
http://www.dadamo.com