Saturday, September 27, 2008

Day 55 and Over Due Check In!!!

Well I'm behind! Life has been keeping me swamped with getting the new CD ready. We are in the final push to get the artwork and all the songs to press so that we can have a release by end of October so my little blog entries have been suffering.

At any rate, I'm still abstinent with my bottom line of "No random eating inbetween 3 moderate meals per day, no matter what." And that is a miracle. A miracle I am most grateful for. I am grateful for so many things in my life, but this gift of being abstinent is the newest gift in my life after 40 years of overeating, binging, dieting, and secretly being horribly shamed with hand wringing guilt that slowly eats away at any self confidence or pride in who one is as a person.

I am more relieved and feel more free everyday. But I hold tight to my bottom line because I know the disease can rear it's secret subtle voice at any time whispering that one extra bite or one additional meal or 'this time only' won't matter. Bull... after 40 years of those voices controlling my life... I turn away from them gently and go on with my day. Thank you God. Thank you God.

I must admit, when I re-read my 30 days of Abstinence post I certainly was on the "Pink Cloud" Becky talks about in her book and subsequently felt a bit of a let down after the big build up in my mind to make it to that point. It felt like I had been on a bit of a 'diet' going toward a goal and then when I reached the goal, the old voice said... "Ok, now what?" "This isn't fun anymore... you can't even celebrate with a bunch of junk food or anything!" HA! I saw the moment for what it was because I had Becky's book and I read about the "Pink Cloud" and it helped me re-adjust to the fact that this is a way of life from now until forever, not something I'm going to let go of after I reach 30 days of being clean or 60 or 1 year or even 5 years. This is my life now. "No random eating inbetween 3 moderate meals per day, no matter what."

One thing I have done for my afternoon sugar drop is I drink some juice with some green veggi powder added. This gets me past the 3:30 slump I experience to dinner. I was really struggling before. It's a great solution if you indeed have issues with low blood sugar in the late afternoons.

My weight is holding steady and I feel I've lost more but since (once again), I'm only 3 days away from my monthly cycle, I know I have extra weight from hormonal activity going on. But I feel I've lost at least 2 lbs this month. I've been working with some meal moderation issues especially when we traveled to Oregon recently, if I'm honest, I can say that a couple of my meals were slightly over moderate. So live and learn and re-adjust and keep truckin' forward!

The most important change has been my mental stability in the last month. I feel balanced, calm, ready for action and totally committed to my health and work in the world which is my music.

Thank you Becky once again for your great insight. I feel your book and the way your wrote it and the issues it addresses were and are a gift from God. In all the eating/dieting books I've read I've never found one that addresses these deep issues surrounding eating like yours does.

And of course another hand clap as well for Dr. Dadamo and his wonderful Blood Type Diet/Geno Type Diet Science work. Between these two tools, I am continuing to find my life and my sanity.

My Tools:
"No random eating inbetween 3 moderate meals per day, no matter what."
http://www.dietingrecovery.com
http://www.dadamo.com

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